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  Mimi nods approvingly, “‘This above all: to thine own self be true, / And it must follow, as the night the day, / Thou canst not then be false to any man.’ Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3.”12

  Dean laughs, shaking his head. “Line numbers?”

  “Oh, don’t be silly; of course I don’t know the line numbers.” Looking upwards coyly, “Or do I? 72, 82, 92?” After, laughing at her own jest, she adds, “I’m just kidding; of course I don’t know the line numbers.” Serious again, she says, “That was Polonius to Laertes; a father’s advice to a son. Another lovely bit of irony, Polonius, such an underhanded government worm, actually saying something profound. But that was Shakespeare; he certainly had his finger on the pulse of man’s paradox.”

  Dean smiles and reaches for his grandmother’s hand. “I am being true to myself, Mimi.”

  “Are you, really? I know everyone thinks you’re straight. That’s what you’ve told all of us—”

  Dean refuses to let her finish. “Yes, Mimi, I’m attracted to women. I’ve always known that.”

  Sensing Dean’s irritation, Mimi decides to lighten the mood with a little cajoling. “And that little girl? Are you dating her?”

  “Cantara and I are just friends. Besides, you know she’s only twenty-two.”

  Now posturing annoyance, Mimi says, “Oh, you make me sound like an ageist.” Coyly, she adds, “I’ve dated younger women in my day, too, you know.” Looking up at the ceiling, tapping an index finger on her front tooth, Mimi tries to remember. “The youngest was—a good twenty years my junior.”

  Dean blushes. “Mimi, please.”

  “Oh, don’t be silly. She’s a consenting adult, and if she wants you, why not?”

  “I’m—ah—” More than embarrassed, Dean finds this conversation has him in knots. It’s hard enough talking about sex, but to have this discussion with his grandmother is downright disconcerting. Unable to come up with a reasonable explanation, Dean murmurs, “I’m just not ready for a relationship. I mean, I don’t have time, and then re-ed—”

  Mimi, no longer posturing, becomes quite stern. “Stop using that excuse. I know being around women still makes you uncomfortable, but you can work through that. It’s just an excuse—unless you’re still lying to yourself.”

  Perturbed, Dean enquires, “What do you mean?”

  “Quite simply, love, there is no shame in being bi.”

  “Mimi, you don’t understand.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “No, you don’t!” Dean winces; he hadn’t meant to be harsh. “Sorry, Mimi.” Sighing deeply, wiping his eyes dry, Dean explains, “I’ve taken up a cause. My being straight is a part of that.”

  “Seriously, Dean, do you have any idea how stupid that sounds? I’ve taken up this cause, too, and I’m gay.”

  “I, know, but—”

  “But what, darling? Are you afraid people won’t take you seriously enough if you’re only bi?”

  “Why is your voice like a whip?”

  “Oh, my, dear; I wasn’t that curt.” Smiling slyly, she adds, “Or is it just the truth that hurts?” Mimi gives Dean a moment to calm himself. “Did I ever tell you my wife was bisexual?” Dean looks up, surprised. “Oh, yes; we didn’t always used to be so uptight sexually in this country. Gender fluidity was the basis upon which this good country was founded. It was okay to be gay; it was okay to be bi; it was okay to be transgender,” and smiling, she adds, “and, yes, it was even okay to be straight. Those crazy laws only came in after the Birtwistles and the Nassers managed to convince the rest of us—” pointing to her sternum, Mimi raises her eyebrows as if to say, “Me excluded,” and harrumphs, “that an alliance with heterosexuals would be our downfall.” Sighing now, she adds, “And somehow excluding heterosexuals meant excluding bisexuals as well.” Shaking her head in disbelief, she continues, “It didn’t help that attacks against the Wall were relentless in those days. And then 6-13 happened! I thought we’d never see the light of reason again.” Mimi sighs. “With all of those radical changes over the past forty years, well, that’s all people know now. It seems like everyone has forgotten the ideals we really founded this country on.” Shaking her head, she asks, “Can you believe people actually believe the story that Mark and Julie Reiner were the only heterosexual couple to join us and that they sacrificed their sexual love for each other? Humph. Well, let me tell you, they weren’t platonic.” Chuckling now, Mimi says, “I guess all this ranting is just my way of saying it’s okay to be bisexual. You can be bi, Dean, if you are. And then,” she pauses briefly to allow Dean to let the thought sink in, “choose to be with the person you love.”

  “I wish it was that easy, Mimi.”

  “It’s as easy as it is difficult. It always is when it’s the right thing.”

  “I love you, Mimi,” Dean says, and looking up at the screen, he adds, “And I love Geoffrey.” But shaking his head, he concludes, “I’m just not ready to go back.” Looking Mimi’s way, he adds, “And when I finally am, I’m not sure whom I’ll choose to be with, if anybody. I’m—needing this independence.”

  “That I understand. Just don’t deny yourself the opportunity to love again.”

  “I promise, Mimi, I won’t.”

  “All right, I guess that’s the best I can get out of you for now.” Dean stands and turns towards the den. “Time to go study again?” Smiling, she adds, “I so admire your dedication.” Clucking her approbation, she concludes, “You’re going to make a fine nurse.”

  Dean turns and laughs. “How do you know that?”

  “By the way you take care of me, dear. You should consider geriatrics.”

  “I might at that, Mimi. I might at that.”

  “All right, then.” Mimi picks up her remote and shuts off the wall screen. Rising slowly, hindered mostly by stiffness and pain, she crosses over and kisses Dean on the cheek. “Goodnight, my beautiful grandson; I’m off to bed.”

  “Goodnight, Mimi.” Dean watches her hobble down the hall. Her body has deteriorated quite a bit over the last two years. “But you’re still smart as a whip,” he mumbles to himself, “still smart as a whip!”

  *****

  12 Shakespeare, William. The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, Act I, scene iii, lines 564 to 566. OpenSourceShakespeare. Retrieved from: http://www.opensourceshakespeare.org/

  views/plays/play_view.php?WorkID=hamlet&Act=1&Scene=3&Scope=scene.

  Salve!

  Reeducating Reeducation: A Salve!

  Interview with Jason Warith

  HNN—Melissa Eagleton Reporting

  “Parents, before we begin, it is incumbent upon me to warn you of the delicate nature of tonight’s special. We will be discussing the new anti-heterosexual laws and the impact they have on Hadrian’s youth. Our producers have rated it PG 14—parental discretion is advised.

  “With that said, welcome to another Salve! interview special. Tonight’s guest is the Golden Boy of Reeducation himself, Jason Warith. He was hand-picked by President Stiles just days after her inaugural ceremony as Head Director for Reeducation. His first commissioned task was to run a series of reviews and evaluations at each of Hadrian’s ten camps: both girls’ and boys’ Northwest, Northeast, Southwest, Southeast, and the military Midwest camp. Jason Warith has visited each camp and scrutinized the standard procedures used by each to reeducate our youth. Subsequently, the first unwarranted method to be abolished was the use of corporal punishment. We all saw the bloody paddle Gideon Weller wielded against those poor boys, and few amongst us regret the loss of that disciplinary tool; some still believe it was necessary—the majority of the population, however, does not. Next, Jason Warith banned electric shock therapy. This decision didn’t go down without a fight from many medical practitioners who quickly pointed out its success rate at deterring opposite sex attraction. Warith responded by citing numerous anecdotal stories and research studies that clearly demonstrate men and women still feel opposite-sex attraction after shock treatment protocols. In spite of
the overwhelming evidence, his opposition still insisted upon the return of its usage and contends that electric shock therapy has rendered opposite-sex attractions and activity difficult, if not impossible. More importantly, though, we’ll discuss the new anti-heterosexual laws in place as well as Bill 52 proposed by Senator Nasser and General Birtwistle. So, without further adieu, allow me to re-introduce all of Hadrian to the Head Director for Reeducation, Mr. Jason Warith.

  “Mr. Warith, welcome back.”

  “Thank you, Ms. Eagleton. I’m honored to be invited back. May I call you Melissa as I did the last time I was on the show?”

  “Yes, and, if I recall correctly, you said I could call you Jason. I wasn’t sure whether I should take such a liberty now that you hold such a distinguished governmental position.”

  “Please, I’d prefer Jason. I’m still not comfortable wearing shoes ten sizes too big for me.”

  “Now, why would you say that? I think President Stiles was right in choosing you for this position. Who better?”

  “A great many. I am only too aware that President Stiles chose me for this position due to my association with the Middleton case and my role in the Frank Hunter trial.”

  “That’s not the only reason she chose you. According to Adrian Adams, Director of the Southwest Reeducation Facility, the President couldn’t have chosen better.”

  “Adrian’s being much too kind. In fact, the President would have chosen better had she chosen Adrian Adams. He’s open to change and recognizes the dangers inherent in our role as reeducators. I’m lucky to have him as my mentor.”

  “You speak as if you are still in practicum under him.”

  “In many ways, I still am. I may be Head Director for Reeducation, but Adrian Adams has the years of experience and wisdom required for this job. That’s why I asked President Stiles to make him Assistant Director. I need his wisdom and experience to guide me if I’m to reeducate reeducation effectively.”

  “Yes, I love your catch phrase. Reeducate Reeducation. What made you come up with that?”

  “I think we all know the answer to that. After the horrors of the Northeast Reeducation facility were revealed, we’d no choice but to rethink how we go about reeducating bisexual youth.”

  “Not all bisexual youth—only those who insist on experimenting with opposite sex attractions.”

  “True enough, Melissa, but even you must agree that the majority of our youth in reeducation are in fact bisexual. Cases like Todd Middleton, pure heterosexuals, are rare.”

  “Touché. Our geneticists have seen to that.”

  “Assuming they truly can detect the heterosexual gene and eradicate it like they claim.”

  “Why question that?”

  “I was in court the day Faial Raboud examined Geneticist Avery Gillis. He couldn’t guarantee that every child born in Hadrian has the homosexual gene.”

  “But they’re so close, Jason; surely we can safely say that being straight is a choice in Hadrian.”

  “Melissa, our greatest geneticists can’t provide us with 100 percent accuracy; that means some members of our society are born straight.”

  “Well—”

  “Well, nothing, Melissa! Who in their right mind would choose to be straight? What could such a choice bring other than misery, the threat of exile, peer abuse, and loss of family?”

  “Of course, when put that way, I can’t see why anyone would want to be straight. So why do you think bisexual youth choose to act on their heterose—strai tendencies?”

  “Quite simply, because they experience them.”

  “Yes, but they also experience same-sex attraction.”

  “Of course they do, but asking a bisexual (anyone between a 1 and 5 on the Kinsey scale) to ignore his or her opposite sexual attractions is just as futile as asking someone to ignore his or her same-sex attractions.”

  “Surely any 4 or 5 on the Kinsey scale can ignore them. What’s so funny, Jason?”

  “The Kinsey scale was a behavioral scale, which means—”

  “I understand that, Jason, but here in Hadrian, we use Kinsey’s scale to refer to the level of attraction a person feels, which would correspond with behavior if such behavior were allowed.”

  “I’m certain most 4s and 5s can and do ignore their opposite sex attractions. It’s probably easier for them than it would be for the 1 to 3s.”

  “Whether it’s easy or not, it remains imperative that bisexuals deny and avoid opposite sex environments and attractions.”

  “Not necessarily.”

  “Jason, please. Opposite sex attraction leads to het’ro sex, which in turn results in unwanted pregnancy.”

  “Not always.”

  “Okay, sometimes, but it does, and that’s the central point. Het’ro sex is designed for procreation, whereas homosexual sex isn’t. It’s safe sex when it comes to avoiding pregnancy. The prohibition on heterosexual sex allows and empowers society to curb and ameliorate the threat of overpopulation.”

  “You see, Melissa, that’s the intellectual foundational base upon which reeducation must be founded: the stabilization of human population. Rather than claim opposite sex attractions are wrong, we need to acknowledge their existence. This is the only way we can then begin to educate our youth effectively on how to control their sexual desires so our same-sex attractions can take precedence for the good of humanity. We can’t beat sexual attraction out of a person. We can’t terrorize individuals, forcing them to be gay. All we can do is reason with our youth and help them better understand the principles upon which Hadrian was founded: not just Hadrian as a homosexual community; not just to provide a safe haven; not just to reclaim the natural balance of the planet; but also to ensure a stable and sustainable human population. We can no longer tell people that they can’t be straight. Rather, we must return to the first principles upon which our country was founded and encourage responsible citizenship that respects the need to avoid sexual acts leading to procreation—we all know there is only one sexual act that causes pregnancy; penile vaginal intercourse.”

  “Thank you for bringing us to that point, Jason, since it leads right into my next question. What do you think of Dean Stuttgart’s comments urging heterosexual sex be made legal?”

  “Dean Stuttgart is asking for something straight citizens already have. Nearly all forms of heterosexual sex are already legal, with the exception of one act: penile vaginal intercourse. It is that one sexual act that I believe must remain illegal. All other forms of coitus are harmless.”

  “Yes, but we all know what happens in the heat of the moment. Sexual energy builds, partners get carried away, and the next thing you know, they’re procreating—Seriously—?”

  “Are you still talking to me?”

  “No—Yes—All right. Jason, all forms of het’ro sex need to be illegal. There’s no point debating it. Our time is limited, and we still have a number of issues to discuss. Another controversial topic is the new law that allows mandatory medical examinations and procedures on het’ro women accused of having had penile vaginal intercourse. Should this be done?”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “Absolutely not. No one should be forced to undergo any medical examination or procedure without his or her consent.”

  “Yes, but if she’s had strai sex, she could be pregnant.”

  “Possibly, but it’s not fair to impose testing based on a supposition. You have to prove the girl had penile vaginal intercourse and has missed her period. Additionally, it is imperative to respect due process and the rule of law.”

  “Oh, but you know as well as I do that no woman would admit to being straight given the stigma and consequences surrounding heterosexuality. That leaves our government very little choice but to act on Hadrian’s behalf—and that of humanity. Next question: Should we allow for opposite sex marriage in Hadrian?”

  “Why would you even ask that after our previous discussion? If heterosexuals are not allowed to have sex, what is the poi
nt of marriage?”

  “So you think marriage is only about sex?”

  “No, Melissa, I do not. I do, however, believe sex is an integral part of marriage. Two people choose to partner for life because they love and desire each other.”

  “True enough. Next question:—”

  “I feel like you’re shooting me with a Gatling gun.”

  “Sorry, Jason. We have so many questions to get through. I will try to slow down. Next question: What about Bill 52 and the proposed penalties for anyone running a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) for citizens under the age of consent?”

  “Many have rightfully called Bill 52 the anti-strai propaganda law.”

  “Yes, well, Senator Nasser’s new bill proposes all persons found guilty of promoting the heterosexual lifestyle to our youth should be sentenced to no less than five years of forced military service.”

  “It seems to me, Melissa, that Senator Nasser and General Birtwistle, his most prominent supporter, are more interested in creating ways to increase Hadrian’s military than they are distressed about the ‘heterosexual menace,’ as they like to call it.”

  “They also recommend a five-year military sentence for anyone who ‘offers premises and other related, fixed, or movable assets for purposes of heterosexuality or promoting heterosexuality,’ including landlords who rent space to GSA groups.”

  “Even against parents who support their children? I assure you, Melissa, I’m not impressed—”

  “And then, there are the first two citizens, Alicia Graham and Tikaani Cloud, who are on trial under these new laws. It’s alleged they participated in carnal knowledge ‘threatening the order of nature’13—”

  “What does that even mean, ‘threatening the order of nature’?”

  “Aiding and abetting the population explosion. If Alicia and Tikaani are found guilty, they’ll be exiled or offered Black Henbane. Do you feel this is appropriate?”

  “I would rather see—”

  “But they’re heterosexual. That’s illegal.”